Giants Recap: The Hipster-off

I don’t really know what went on before the game and during, but I assume that it was something like this.

 Nothing prepares me for a start like an avocado scramble. Good thing I packed some avocados from the outfield tree.

 Hey.

 Hey.

/awkward silence

 Avocado scramble?

 Sure.

 I did the hipster ballplayer routine long before you did.

 Everyone knows who I am.

 Sellout.

 /shows Zito his contract

 Crap.

 Wanna hit up Amoeba later?

 There’s this new album that just dropped. You’ve probably never heard of it.

 I am the music you’ve never heard of.

 And I am the boy from next door, and I’m not your neighbor.

 /awkward silence

 Good talk.

 I got a new car.

 Hey, good luck on the mound, huh?

Exit BARRY ZITO.

Two hours later.

 /watches first inning from dugout

 And I swear in that moment runs were infinite.

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