Giants Recap: WHAT IN THE SITHSPAWN

There are two options I can pick from for this recap.

  1. I can re-write Top 40 hits to be like, “TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT / THERE ARE HIIIIIIITS / SO LET’S MAKE THEM ALL LEAVE THE YAAAAAARD / LEAVE THE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~RD.”
  2. I can post the following image five times and then drink copious amounts of soda and then set the following image as a gif and make it run around a ballpark with its eyes acting like googly eyes.

But really, I just don’t have any words for this game. I can’t even begin to go through the box score and try to pick the highlights from it to snark about because I still can’t even comprehend what just happened.

I think it started with a rain delay. Maybe about six hours ago. Then it was this pitchers duel and the Giants couldn’t even get a friggin’ hit but there you go. The Giants got hits. Lots of ’em. Or, enough to win the game.

But Santiago Casilla happened and man, there were just lots of ampersands and percent signs and exclamation marks flying all over the twitter machine.

And … Gregor Blanco ran for Buster Posey somewhere in the middle of the game. Pablo Sandoval was double switched out. Some dude named Mr. Whiteside was behind the plate for a while.

Then there was no position player left on the bench when the 11th inning came around. And Brandon Crawford looked like he was hurt and then KABLAM THREE RUN HOME RUN THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH A NO-DOUBTER HOLY WOW WHAT WAS THAT.

So cool. The Giants had a three-run lead and maybe just maybe that would be enough to win the game and then — BAM GREGOR BLANCO WITH A THREE RUN HOME RUN AND THAT HAPPENED.

So the Giants were up by six runs. And the man they call Brad Penny or different variations had to go and give up one run in the bottom of the 11th because this is how baseball works and you will like it or get out.

Then. Fin. Giants won.

My goodness, the Giants won.

And here are the remaining four:

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