The Tale Of Melky Cabrera And Fake Websites

When I woke up on this fine Sunday morning, I was expecting to hear about baseball games and score updates. Maybe even something from Europe as the Premier League and La Liga start up this weekend.

What I didn’t expect, and probably never would have expected in — oh, I don’t know — fifty billion years, is the following post title from Hardball Talk:

Melky Cabrera bought a website and dreamed up a fake supplement in an attempt to beat his PED suspension


And now some choice paragraphs from the Daily News.

In a bizarre attempt to avoid a 50-game drug suspension, San Francisco Giants star Melky Cabrera created a fictitious website and a nonexistent product designed to prove he inadvertently took the banned substance that caused a positive test under Major League Baseball’s drug program.

If that’s the case, then. There’s a massive problem with that.

“My positive test was the result of my use of a substance I should not have used,” Cabrera said in a statement issued by the MLB Players Association. “I accept my suspension under the Joint Drug Program and I will try to move on with my life. I am deeply sorry for my mistake and I apologize to my teammates, to the San Francisco Giants organization, and to the fans for letting them down.”

Alright, so. Admit that you take a substance, and then … I still can’t wrap my head around this whole fake website thing. As many on twitter have already said, this just sounds like the plot of a movie.

Actually, it should be a movie.

Can you imagine how well that would work? Everybody loves a good baseball narrative — here’s one with a possibly bizarre and unpredictable ending! Look out, Moneyball!

Famed steroid cop Jeff Novitzky, a criminal investigative agent for the Food & Drug Administration, and agents from MLB’s Department of Investigation have begun looking into Cabrera’s associates and his entourage, including trainers, handlers and agents, as they search for the source of the synthetic testosterone that appeared in a sample of the All-Star Game MVP’s urine.


The scheme began unfolding in July as Cabrera and his representatives scrambled to explain a spike in the former Yankee’s testosterone levels. Cabrera associate Juan Nunez, described by the player’s agents, Seth and Sam Levinson, as a “paid consultant” of their firm but not an “employee,” is alleged to have paid $10,000 to acquire the phony website. The idea, apparently, was to lay a trail of digital breadcrumbs suggesting Cabrera had ordered a supplement that ended up causing the positive test, and to rely on a clause in the collectively bargained drug program that allows a player who has tested positive to attempt to prove he ingested a banned substance through no fault of his own.

Sweet mother of Cy, this is a movie. It’s got to be a movie otherwise I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

The website was part of the presentation Cabrera and his representatives made to MLB and the players’ union before the league officially charged him with a doping violation.

Alright, then.


Oh, Cy, this is still too much to process on four hours of sleep.

Cabrera and his representatives presented this website to MLB and the players’ union. Got it.

There’s only one flaw in that plan:

It’s not that hard to find information on any website out there.

And. Man. I got nothin’. I don’t even know what to exactly say about this. I mean, this is Hollywood material here, not Anytown Baseball USA. And for it to just unravel like that? Damn. That’s just something.

This, of course, will likely put the chances of Cabrera coming back to the Giants at 0.000000%. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want him back, either.

The some of the uncertainty I had before about Cabrera seems to be answered here. Am I still a fan of his, despite PED use? Meh. Am I still a fan of his when you look at the big picture that includes fake websites? No, no, not really.

It’s hard, and undoubtedly tough, to watch a guy go from the all-around likeable outfielder to the flawed criminal mastermind. You never expect or hope for that to happen. But then it does and you just sit back in your chair, stunned into a wordless stupor because how do you find the words to say about this?

But in the end, Cabrera fell into a trap of his own façade, where the lies intersect without any structure and just one hit, it all falls down.

And that’s the thing: it’s his façade. He has no one to blame but himself here. He put himself into this situation by taking a substance he wasn’t supposed to and then coming up with this half-baked scheme to try and get out of it. He brought everyone along for the ride.

Ultimately, it’s natural to feel a sense of betrayal if you’re a Giants fan. Fellow Giants fans feel the same way.

It’s easy to start thinking, “What went wrong here?” And you could analyze it to the ends of the Earth. Then, you let go and distance yourself from it, consider Cabrera a part of the Giants’ past.

This is a situation that many will look back on and laugh. I know I will, for the sheer absurdity of it all. Right now, however, as a Giants fan, I’m focused on hoping they can actually make it to the postseason again. Melky or not.


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