Bring back Bonds to play 3B

No, I’m 100% serious.

If Manny Ramirez is back in pro-USA baseball, why not?

It cannot possibly be any worse than how the Giants are right now.

I mean, look at this friggin’ team. They’re getting no hit and shut out and losing an— oh, man, is that the Giants losing to the Dodgers that early?

Hahahahahaha ha hah oh dear.

I mean, if they’re going to regress back to those days of old where they just completely sucked, why not bring in a guy who can hit some dingerz and OPS better than half the guys on the team right now.

The Giants are currently 19th in team wOBA, which is .308. Their team wRC+ is 97, which puts them in 14th place. Which isn’t necessarily bad, but considering the rock bottom they’ve hit, why not boost those numbers with Barry Lamar Bonds!

Hell, have Barry play 3B and maybe clone Buster Posey a bit. Posey can catch and clone!Posey can pitch. We all know he can do that.

And let’s face it. The Giants’ team ISO is at .126, 28th in all of baseball. Put Bonds in that lineup and the ISO is going to soar so high, people would want to make Tim Lincecum jokes.

Why third base, though? I don’t know. It’s a way to combat #FatChat. Because why not add some absurdity to the team. If it’s going to be wharrgarbl clownshoes, let’s just see them go all out and totally troll baseball.

☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆
★。\|/。★
3B BARRY BONDS
★。/|\。★
。☆。。☆
☆。 ★。 ☆  ★

Because that’s why.

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